Touring Beijing More (B.J.)

Today's events were much like yesterday's in that we started off with a filling breakfast and then headed out for some sightseeing and cultural tours.

We first went to a jade factory.  Prior to arriving, George explained the historical significance of jade to Chinese culture.  Similar to the silk factory yesterday, we took a brief tour to learn about jade.  Following this, we were able to make some purchases in the store.  Both the silk factory and this jade factory were government run providing some assurance, according to George, that the quality of what you are purchasing is better than a street vendor.  One Chinese tradition is that on her wedding day, a bride receives a jade bangle from her family.  I had learned this earlier (not sure when) and thought this would be a great cultural tradition to carry over for Liliana and was in hopes of finding a bangle for Liliana.  Two things prevented me from doing this though: the prices of the bangles was high and I was concerned about getting the right size.  Somewhat disappointed, I decided to continue looking.  What I did find was some jade bracelets much more reasonably priced and since they were bracelets they were much more forgiving in terms of wrist sizes.  So, I chose one out and plan to tuck it away for that special day.  Perhaps by then I may take her out to go bangle shopping anyway, but I will still give her this bracelet since it comes from her homeland of China and now holds some significance in that her Daddy was thinking about her future even back then (which currently is now).

A cool statue at the jade factory

Also at the jade factory, I found what is called a happiness ball.  If you recall from my blog post yesterday about the meaning of happiness in Chinese, this ball fits well with it.  It is a solid jade ball that has holes cut through it similar to swiss cheese and carvings on the outside.  However, inside, a second ball can be found also with holes.  Inside this second ball, a third ball can be found.  Depending on the size of the first ball, you may have many balls inside of balls.  Each ball represents a new generation within a family.  So the outside ball represents the parents.  The second ball is the children.  The third ball is grandchildren, and so on.  The visual of seeing the generations wrap each other and hold one another close is beautiful.                                                                                                

More statues at the jade factory

I ended up purchasing two of them: one for my  home and one for my office at school.  I have found that throughout my teaching career, I have spent, and continue to spend, a lot of time talking about family life and the importance of raising up the next generation.  The Bible talks so much about the importance of the family being the context for raising children (Deuteronomy 6:6-9 is one example).  Yet in today's fast-paced American culture, the family is being torn apart.  As much as I love what I do each day at school and see where it has value for families, the reality is that family life needs to be the center of a family's focus.                                                                                    

                   

The section of the Great Wall I climbed...if you start at the green roofed building in the lower right corner with the gold outline on the roof as well

A section of the Great Wall (the less steep side I did not climb)

When we finished up at the jade factory, our bus took us to a section of the Great Wall.  We had a lot of time to explore the Great Wall.  I was able to climb a decent amount though even only a few steps was tiring due to the incline.  I took a lot of pictures while I was there, and one picture I am sending Rachel to post with this blog entry is a picture of where I started and looking up towards a tower where I climbed.  It was steep going up and down, and the stairs were well worn and not built to code.  When I reached this tower, I spent some time up there enjoying the views and soaking up the history (along with catching my breath).  Mom took things slow and steady and eventually joined me at this point. This was the steeper of two possible climbs.  Some in our group went to the flatter side.  Others in our group tried to go as far as they could.  Though I would have liked to have gone farther, I wanted to spend my time taking in the experience rather than rushing through it.  I guess for someone with a different personality, climbing farther is the experience.  Throughout the climb I could not help but think of Rachel's brother Jeremy.  He would love the climbing, and he would capture some amazing pictures.

Another view of the steep section I climbed

After the Great Wall, we headed to lunch for another authentic Chinese meal.  So far, meals have not included anything all that crazy.  Though we were warned by George not to eat any of the food from the street vendors because the grease they cook with would give us the runs.  Some of the street vendor foods were quite crazy ... name the animal or animal part, and you could probably find it friend and on a stick on this one road near our hotel.

Following lunch, we stopped by the 2008 Olympic Stadium (the Bird's Nest) and walked around a little.  We then returned to the hotel.  A few people are going out tonight to see some Chinese acrobats.  Most of us are staying in for the night and preparing for tomorrow.  Mom and I are both feeling good but tired from our busy day, and I imagine it will be an early night for us.  Tomorrow morning we fly to Liliana's province (Henan), and then Monday (Sunday evening EST), we get Liliana.

Touring Beijing: (B.J. post)

Touring Beijing:
Today was our first full day in Beijing.  This portion of the trip is designed to provide families with some time to catch up on jet lag, build relationships with each other, and get some basic cultural information along with tours.  Our group numbers somewhere between 20 and 25 people.  All of us have come from different parts of the country and travelled different adoption journeys to get to this point, but we all have a common destination: giving our child his/her forever family.

Today started with quite a spread for breakfast, and once finished, our group headed to the Hotung district, which is the old section of Beijing.  While there, we took rickshaws (with bikes not the kind that are pulled) to get around the narrow streets.  We had the comedian of the group of rickshaw drivers.  We swerved around as he laughed and played with the other rickshaw drivers. 

Our ride ended at the home of a widow, Ms. Wu, who has lived in this section of Beijing (and in the some home) since 1962 when she married.  We all sat in a tiny one room home modestly decorated sipping jasmine tea, snacking on a few treats, and asking her questions while George translated for us.  What a fascinating time we had with her.  We learned about her family's royal past, her life with her husband and family, her desire to live in the old section rather than move to a new apartment because of the strong community spirit in the old section of Beijing, and many other things.

Perhaps the most interesting part of our time was when someone asked what the different wall hangings of Chinese characters said.  George took a few minutes to explain the one in the middle.  I recognized the character as something meaning fortune or happiness or  something.  As it turns out, it is a famous character for happiness.  George then explained the different lines within the character.  One portion of it meant "close", another meant "many children", and the last section meant "land".  So "happiness" as defined by this character means having many children who were close and having enough land form the family (remember this is an agrarian society primarily).  What I found interesting was that here I am a father of five with no idea when we'll stop knowing that the Bible teaches that children are a blessing from the Lord and that happy is the man whose house is filled with children and staring at me in stark black ink strokes upon bright yellow paper is a symbol that basically sums up this teaching of the Bible.

Following our visit with Ms. Wu, we headed off to the silk factory.  We took a tour to learn how silk was made and had the opportunity to do some shopping.  The silk comforters were an amazing deal, and I really thought it would be great to get one, but all I kept seeing was wet diapers that leaked, kids spilling food, and cat pee.  We're just not at a silk stage in our life right now :)

After shopping, we ate lunch.  We had a wide variety of foods from all regions of China.  As an experimental experience, it was quite successful.  I tried a bit of everything and even used chop sticks for the majority of the food.

Once finished, we toured Tianamen Square and the Forbidden City.  I am always awestruck when I get the opportunity to walk where history has walked.  So to walk on paths were built in the 1400s or see throne rooms where emperors once sat was just amazing.  You could easily spend a day exploring this section.  For today, knowing I could not see it all, I decided to limit myself to exploring smaller sections to a deeper degree. 

One area that interested me was a specific room in the center where the emperor would go annually to make sacrifices to his god and receive insights from him.  I had read about this room years ago, and it always intrigued me.  So to finally see it was a real treat.  As I stood there  looking into this room and touching these ancient exterior walls, my heart broke as I thought about this ritual.  It is so symbolic of what we humans do to try and get God's attention.  We make up ceremonies and rituals.  We try to purify ourselves and try to get ourselves on the right track.  We make sacrifices and do good things, and we do this all in hopes of being found acceptable to God and gaining His attention even for just a moment. 

In reality, we are His special creation.  He knit us together in our mother's womb and knows us by name.  He desires deeply to have a relationship with us and longs to talk with us daily.  He does not ask that we get ourselves cleaned up, make ourselves right, do good deeds, or go through rituals and ceremonies.  No, God's not interested in all of that.  He's just interested in us ... and all the flaws we have.  He created us, loves us, died for us, and longs for us to draw close to Him as He draws close to us.  It's when the efforts to be good end and the rituals and ceremonies fade and we simply stop trying and just be that we finally find that Jesus is there waiting for us to follow Him knowing that through the journey of following Him we are made more like Him.

Our time in the Forbidden City was too short, and I hope to come back someday and spend more time there.  After such a busy day, we headed back to the hotel.  We ventured out for a small dinner, and then I had some time to Skype with Rachel and the kids.

A few pics from the day....

               Our CCAI representative, George, giving our adoption group some directions while on the bus.

 Heading in for an excellent authentic Chinese lunch.... George selected dishes that represented the four major regions in China

                                               At the silk factory getting a tour

                Eating lunch with some new friends in our group...we are about 20-25 all together

                                                                 Tianamen Square

Inside the Forbidden City (aka the Emperor's Palace) ... imagine this one courtyard times at least 5 more plus a garden

Speaking of Rachel, I think I am up to four women on this trip who have come up to me and asked me if I am Rachel's husband.  These women (and I am sure there are a few others in our group still) have all connected on Facebook, blogs, and other online forums and have in some ways walked this road together.  It's been fun getting to brag about her to others and tell the story of all that she has done to make this happen.  God has blessed Rachel with such wonderful talents and abilities, and she has done the lion's share of all of the paperwork, contacting of agencies, and planning for this adoption.  She's so good she should teach a class on how to do it.  I love her deeply and am forever grateful for God sending her my way.

"Are you excited?"

"Are you excited?"  Since getting travel dates set for going to China, I have probably been asked this question the most.  It is a very natural question, and if I were on the other end of the conversation, I would probably be asking it of someone else as well.  I always appreciated when I got this question because I knew the person asking it was expressing interest and joy in the journey of adoption we were on.  Yet despite understanding this about the question, when it was posed, I never quite knew how to answer it. 

Am I excited?  Well, yes, of course.  Who wouldn't be excited about adopting a little girl whom the Lord has called you to?  Following Jesus is an exciting way to live life.   

For over a year now, I've stared at a few small pictures of a little girl from China who I never met but already loved.  For over a year now, she has been a picture on my screen and a person that I talked about.  However, right now I am on a plane 36,000 feet in the air and a mere 3,930 miles away from all of that changing.  Some say I am flying to China.  But in my mind, I am flying into that picture.  In a few short days, Liliana will go from being a picture to being a reality.  She will go from being a person I talk about to being a person I talk to.  The hopes and dreams of adoption will soon become the reality of adoption.  What an exciting and wild idea!

Yet at the same time, excited does not begin to capture the emotions going on right now.  The reality of adoption is often far less pretty than the dream of adoption.  The reality includes a child who has experienced pain, hurt, abandonment, and who does not know what it means to be a family.  It includes times of laughter and joy, and times of weeping and struggle.  It includes so much more than I can imagine.  So "excited" just touches upon one piece of it.  However, this reality of adoption, as easy or difficult as it may be at times, is ultimately more rewarding than any dream of adoption can be ... for it is filled with relationships.

Relationships are so important in life, and yet they are often the first thing ignored.  God Himself demonstrated how much relationships matter not by just telling us about Himself but by taking the time to come in the flesh and live life with us.  Even now, thousands of years after Jesus lived, we can still have a relationship with Him.  In many ways, Jesus' journey to earth and sacrifice is a picture of adoption ... for because of it, we can be adopted into God's family.

Speaking of family, that's another aspect of this journey that is difficult ... leaving behind all those whom you love, even for just 17 days, to go to China and bring Liliana home.  Yes, it is only a short time, but somehow that does not stop the tears from coming when you kiss your wife good bye, snuggle with your four kids one last time, and head off to catch a train to the airport.  Skype and email will help, but again, it is not the same as being there.  I also am missing extended family, friends, church, and colleagues at school.  Yet that longing, that missing of people, is only a testimony to how richly God has blessed me with wonderful relationships.

I am reminded of a quote from C.S. Lewis.  When Mr. Beaver is asked by the children who have just arrived in Narnia if Aslan the lion is dangerous, Mr. Beaver replies, "Dangerous?  Well of course He's dangerous.  But He's good."  Perhaps that quote best captures how I could have answered the question "Are you excited?".  Perhaps it best captures the reality of this journey, of this experience, and of following Jesus wherever He may call you.  Thankfully, when He calls you, He walks the journey with you no matter what.     

We're Here In Beijing! (B.J. Post)

We're here in Beijing!  Local time is 8:05 pm Thursday evening, which is roughly 7:05 am EST Thursday morning.  Our plane ride was smooth, and 13 hours on the plane was actually not too bad at all.  I thoroughly enjoyed peaking out the window often and just looking at the different landscapes.  I was surprised to see so many isolated villages living in snow-filled mountains and plains.  The snow-filled sights were beautiful, and I wish my pictures could have captured the views better.  The color changed from white to brown when we were landing in Beijing as the snow was mostly melted here.

The Beijing airport was spacious, clean, and well organized.  One funny part for me: upon entering you need to get your passport checked, scanned, stamped, etc.  So I stood there as the security officer compared me to my passport photo.  He entered my information, stamped everything, and sent me through.  Before I went though four little buttons lit up with different smiley faces on them.  As an option, you can rate your service, and it is tied directly to this specific officer.  I couldn't help but giggle as I thought about some recent professional learning on evaluation systems.  For those who speak Danielson Framework lingo, he was a clear 3.

Once we arrived, we met up with George, our CCAI representative in Beijing, as well as with several other families who are adopting with CCAI.  We all rode to our hotel together (very nice place).  George spent some time telling us where all of the American fast food places were for dinner.  Mom and I did not want to settle for that and decided to go more authentic.  However, we were so tired that "authentic" became several dishes at the 7-11 ... so authentic Chinese food but purchased at a 7-11 ... seemed like a decent compromise given our energy levels.

As I was praying for Liliana this evening, I could not help but be struck by the fact that I am in the same time zone as her.  Up until now, she has always been doing the opposite of us.  So when we pray for her at night, we pray for her to have a good day.  When we pray for her in the morning, we pray for her to have a good night.  But tonight, for the first time ever, I was able to pray for Liliana and have that prayer match what I was doing.  Such a little thing but oh so amazing.  Good night, my sweet Liliana.  May God's spirit be close to you this evening as you sleep, and may you feel His presence as you wake.

Tomorrow we head out for some cultural tours with George here in Beijing.  Sounds like day for pictures.

And they're off (missing Daddy)

B.J. and Mom left early this morning (shortly after 8am).  They were running a little later than they wanted, but they made it out the door with only a few tears from Elianna.  I held it together, though I wanted to cry right along with her.  While we know that this is what God has called us to do, it doesn't make the missing that much easier.  We spent the day praying for Daddy and Grammy as well as cleaning, playing, and tracking their plane online.  We also looked at pictures of the Beijing airport so the girls could see where Daddy's plane was going.  Simeon had a typical day for him.  I don't think he really knows what is going on and Myla took two great naps which greatly helped with "Operation Clean Up".  

Uncle Jeremy came over this afternoon which was a nice change of pace.  He came to finish the door project from Saturday and then he hung around and I talked him into having dinner with us.  He then offered to watch the kiddos after I put them to bed so that Myla and I could visit Babies R Us and return the pump rental.  SCORE!!!  It definitely helped having another person around today.

The girls did an AWESOME job with cleanup this afternoon.  Both of the girls helped me clean out the kitchen drawer and they really got into organizing it.  Janaya picked up the playroom without constant reminding and Elianna cleared the table like she was asked but then went above and beyond by washing the table, loading the dishes, washing the ones that couldn't go in the dishwasher, and scrubbing the counters.  I was so blessed by her honoring the family that way and I made sure to let her know :)

Overall, it was a pretty good day today on the home front, except for the homesickness - or daddymissingsickness.  Elianna is having a pretty hard time and there were several times today where her eyes welled up and she talked about missing Daddy.  I am right there with her.  Unfortunately, other than praying and talking and sleeping with Daddy's pillow and blanket, there isn't much more I can do to help the ache.  When you have a daddy who is involved and loves you as much as B.J. loves his kiddos you can't help but miss him and his absence leaves a big hole in our family.  I am hoping that getting to skype tomorrow will help some.  

Below are a few pictures to give you an idea of what an awesome Daddy B.J is and just a glimpse of how much the kiddos are missing him.  I am blessed to be married to a man who is as involved as he can possibly be and who loves his kids and me so wonderfully.  He is greatly missed right now!

                                              Silliness

                                             Christmas Eve

                                              Christmas Day

                                                 Hungry Hungry Hippos game

                                            Daddy and his girls

                                           Elianna NEVER misses a chance to snuggle with her daddy.

This was the picture that first tugged at my heart in November 2011.  Every day, I would visit CCAI's website and look at the pictures of waiting children and every day, I would click on this picture above.  And then I would read her file.  It had scary stuff in it - words that made me close the information each time.  I would remind myself to be reasonable and that there was no way I could handle a child with needs like that.  Then, the next day, I would do it again.  There was just something about her that kept drawing me back.  

This kept on for November, December, and into January 2012.  Each time, the same doubts would surface and each time I felt more and more torn as I watched her picture sitting on the website.  Then, in mid-January, I noticed that her file was under the section "Soon to be Returned".  It was always sad to see pictures there because that meant that they might get assigned to another agency, or they might go on the shared list where some kids languish for years.  I prayed this little girl would find a family soon.

Finally, on January 20th, I asked B.J. to look at CCAI's waiting children.  I wanted to know if she stuck out to him too, but I didn't tell him that.  I wanted to know if he was feeling the same pull.  Sure enough, he took a look and said "Well this girl has been staring me down for months now...".  So I emailed CCAI to ask a few of the questions that had arisen from all of my research on her conditions.  When her picture kept coming up, I had started reading about her conditions to see what we would be accepting.  Of course, by the time we emailed CCAI, it was late on Friday night so we got to sit on things for the weekend.  

On Monday morning, 1/23/12, we were sent her file which I immediately forwarded to B.J. and started reading myself.  I read through developmental checklists, googled terms from a CT scan report and tried to get a sense of this little girl through two emails worth of attachments.  I wanted to know more and fortunately, found a blog entry linked in her file (http://asfeelingsfade.blogspot.com/2011/06/my-precious-lilies-from-marias-big.html).  I cried as I read the entry.  My heart broke for this little girl who had not known the love of a mother or father.  My heart broke that her file was still waiting - that no one had stepped up to love on this little girl and show her the love of God.  B.J. emailed me that he cried when he read that too and that there was nothing in the file that would make him say no.  I felt the same way.  We knew God was leading us to this little girl.  That night, we prayed together for this little girl that had somehow worked her way into our hearts.  Since we only had a day or so to let our agency know whether we wanted to move forward or not, we emailed them on the 24th to let them know we wanted to move forward.  They promised to hold her file for us while we got some information done (submitted a Letter of Intent to China, filled out agency paperwork, etc.)  We spent the next few days reading her file over and over and asking questions to get more information.   Our agency, wisely, wanted us to have her file reviewed by a doctor, which we did the following weekend.  The CHOP doctor told us worst case scenarios and concerns she had about the file which was really helpful.  We knew she was our daughter without a doubt and emailed CCAI with our Letter of Intent to officially ask China to let her be our daughter on January 31st.  Then we started to wait.  We waited until February 6th when we were notified that China had said yes.  Liliana could be our daughter.!!!!!!!  

(Of course we found out on February 3rd that we were pregnant...surprise!).  

Since that day, we have been working hard almost every day with adoption stuff.  There is a lot of 'hurry up and wait' in adoption, but CCAI was wonderful at making sure we always knew what we could be working on next so we wouldn't have any delays. 

God has taught me so much in the past year through this process.  I have gotten to learn to trust Him and His plan in a whole new way - when so much is out of our control.  I have gotten to understand the way He loves us and has adopted us into His family.  I have a new appreciation for the love He shows us and the extent He goes to to pursue us - even before we know or love Him.  The pictures below (except for her referral picture) are ones I found while searching the internet for pictures from her orphanage in hopes of catching a glimpse of her.  Yup, I did that :)  (See what kind of pursuit is caused by the love of a parent?)

                                           One of the rooms in Louyang

                                                         Liliana (Dang, Cai Tong) referral photo

                                               Liliana is on the left - a picture from Louyang

God has also shown Himself faithful financially.  When we started the process, we had just about $1,000 to put towards an adoption that would cost between $25,000-$30,000.  We had no idea where the money was going to come from, but we knew that if God was calling us to adopt then it was His problem to provide.  And provide He did.  We received gifts from family and friends who always seemed to know right when to give the money - when we needed encouragement, when we were doubting whether we had heard correctly, and when money was needed for the next phase.  God was so gracious with us and provided the rest of the necessary funds through our Both Hands project.  I was blown away.  I am continuing to be blown away.  

Now, I can't believe that B.J. and my Mom will be on a plane in less than 48 hours and in less than a week, she will be ours!!!  It is surreal.  I know there is much that I don't know and once she is home the work will really begin, but I can't wait to start.  She is a part of our family and this is where she belongs. 

Baby Girl, only a few more days and you will meet your Daddy and Grammy.  And then, some more days after that, you will meet your mommy, sisters, and brother.  We can't wait for you to come home!  I know that it will be hard and scary and you will have to learn to trust us, but know that we are your forever family and we love you more than words can say.  

I am praying that God will comfort you through this transition and that you will know and understand His love - even if you can't understand what we are saying.  Unfortunately, I know I am going to mess up.  I am far from perfect.  There will be times when I am cranky and frustrated and I will probably say things I don't mean to, but know that no matter what, my love for you will not change.  I pray that one day, you will come to love the God that brought you to us and set you in our family.  He will never leave you nor forsake you.  He loves you and has been watching over you every day of your life.  May He use me to show you His love and you come home and join our family.

This made my day....

This was shared on my friend's Facebook page this morning and I love it.  For all my parent friends out there - enjoy the laugh!